Everything I do is built around these three words: nurture then manage.
We need to nurture ourselves in small, regular and often creative ways, before we can handle the stress in our lives.
Why? Because when we’re stressed we end up starving the part of the brain that takes more considered decisions.
Until our fight-or-flight response is soothed, trying to manage ourselves is like trying to turn down the oven in a kitchen that’s currently on fire; misguided, inefficient, and somebody’s gonna get burned. Luckily, self-compassion is our emotional fire-brigade;
Self-kindness is being friendly, generous and considerate towards ourselves. Unlike numbing, which often leaves us feeling guilty, self-kindness and comfort leaves us feeling restored, renewed and peaceful.
Mindfulness, which simply means paying attention. By noticing our thoughts and how we feel with a gentle curiosity, we can recognise that we’re something separate from our thoughts and emotions.
So meditation is simply giving ourselves the time and space to notice while our more usual distractions on hold.
Common humanity means accepting that we’re only human, and that we’re not alone in being human.
We all feel scared, a failure, too much or not enough in various areas of our lives. The shame of those feelings keeps us isolated and disconnected from ourselves and others.
Common humanity helps us to know that what we fear set us apart from others actually connects us to others, through shared feelings and experiences.
Life happens, and just keeps happening. May I offer a loving, intuitive presence so you can be kinder to yourself when it does.