This month, I’m going to share something very different.
One of the first pieces I ever had published was a poem, and yet I rarely read them – and the last one I wrote was five years ago. But a friend who lives overseas was struggling recently, and I wanted to keep in touch through loving voice messages.
I didn’t want to add to his mental load by chit-chatting about my day, though. So what could I say that would be short, helpful and meaningful? Continue reading “For a friend who is struggling”
I experienced a lot of thinking at the beginning of this week.
Nothing major happened; my mum’s doing well after fracturing her shoulder through a fall a couple of weeks ago, and I’m doing well after going up to look after her. Continue reading “When less is more”
Intimacy is crucial for our well-being. So can a workshop on non-sexual touch be an act of self-care?
It’s hard to open up the (metaphorical) newspaper these days without a report telling us how bad loneliness is for our well-being. From shortening our lives more than smoking fifteen cigarettes a day or obesity, to underpinning depression, it’s as bad for your health as having a long-term chronic illness.
Continue reading “Can talking about sex and hugging strangers tackle the loneliness epidemic?”
We humans tend to be strange, paradoxical, conflicted creatures.
We say that we want something in our life – be it more money, greater freedom, a wider pool of romantic prospects, a deeper connection, etc. Nothing wrong with any of those, of course; all entirely human and understandable desires.
And yet it’s rare to find someone whose life doesn’t contradict what they say they want. Money evaporates at a certain set-point, limitations are accrued unconsciously, opportunities to meet potential partners spurned, chances for vulnerability body-swerved. Continue reading “What’s your logic based on?”
It’s February, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and my website has the word “love” in the title. So I’m *checks, nods* yep, contractually obligated to write about love.
I joke, of course. There’s nothing I enjoy more than thinking and writing about matters of the heart – even if such matters continue to confuse, baffle and vex me. Continue reading “Four Noble Truths of Love”
In an ideal world, of course, relationships would be easy. You’d find someone, fall in love with each other, and POW! – the “happily ever after” of fairytales comes true.
(The clue why they don’t is in the word “fairytales”, FYI…) Continue reading “LoveWeek #4 – When the going gets tough…”
So you see love as a “collaborative work of art”. You’ve been discerning about who to spend your time with and found someone generous and giving, someone with whom you can be your truest self.
You’ve won! Here’s your medal! You can relax now!
Of course, life’s not really like that: nor is love. Continue reading “LoveWeek #3 – You’ve found someone. Now what?”
If love and relationships are a “collaborative work of art”, some of us need a partner to create with.
With the acceptance of online dating and the rapid rise of apps, we have more choice than ever. And with that choice comes indecision, disatisfaction and for some of us, overwhelm.
Between the advice to ‘settle’ and “marry him already” and the endless advice on how to “find your soulmate”, how do you choose who to spend your time with? Continue reading “LoveWeek #2 -Looking for love”
Deeply in love? Stoically single? In the second circle of hell known as “it’s complicated”? No matter where your heart lies, the prospect of Valentine’s Day makes even the best of us think about love.
Is it a sport where you learn to hate the game, not the player? Is it a battlefield with walking wounded, losers and victors? The language we use influences how we see the world – and how we respond to it. Continue reading “LoveWeek #1 – Need a better way to talk about love? Try this.”
I discovered the very NSFW website of Girl on the Net via Twitter a couple of summers’ ago.
It was at the height of women sharing their experiences of sexual harassment and assault on public transport, and her blog post on the subject On Your Power remains a compelling must-read (I shared it with a male acquaintance recently; it both shocked and enlightened him).
The powerfully vulnerable comments beneath a recent guest blog raised the spectre of loneliness, a topic I’ve written about before here and here. I was moved to contact GotN, who kindly published my guest blog last Friday. Continue reading “Only the Lonely – for Girl on the Net”
