We’re halfway through 2022, and it’s been a pretty tough year for me so far.
In the northern hemisphere the longest day is almost upon us, and I’ve been wondering about what the next 6 months may bring and, more, what I would like it to bring.
I confess: I find it really hard to dream what that might look like.
Continue reading “Catching breath”I’m really struggling to do things at the moment.
Last weekend, on a sudden and strange impulse, I joined some friends as they took a Bank Holiday weekend road trip to an event in South West Wales, not far from where my mum was born.
Eschewing the event itself, I saw it as my the first true holiday in over a decade (ie, going somewhere for the sake of going somewhere, rather than to stay with friends or family, or attend a development event), booked a lovely Airbnb, and packed a good book.
Sadly I found no time for the latter and, rather than coming back refreshed, I’ve spent most of my time since returning in a crumpled bed-bound heap, wracked with exhaustion and the sadness that comes from reigniting a sense of isolation and not-belonging born from having high sensitivity, a long-term disabling illness, and mobility issues which leave me trailing behind.
Frankly, it’s pretty sucky.
Continue reading “Going where the energy is”Hey there. Happy New Year 🙂
After my last post, which spoke about exhaustion and the need to rest, I took my own advice and have taken the last two weeks off from, well .. everything. No work, no studying, no meetings. It’s been wonderful as I’ve given myself the space to decompress from, well .. everything. We’re almost two years into a pandemic, and I remember thinking (and hearing from Brene Brown) that this will be a marathon, not a sprint. I don’t know about you, but it’s felt a lot like sprinting too much of the time.
Continue reading “Purpose, peace, and pleasure”I had a pretty lousy thought on Monday morning. I mentally flicked through all of the commitments, plans, and deadlines I had coming up until the end of the year and noticed the following thought come up: “If I can just make it through the next three weeks…”
Not great, huh? And, while the time-frame is specific to my circumstances, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
Continue reading “Take time to rest”For some weird reason, I’m not one for reading fiction. The nerd in me has always been too keen to learn something new so, as the years have passed, I’ve found myself hoarding books full of knowledge and research, seldom tarrying in the land of someone’s imagination.
But I found myself accepting a novel’s invitation to escape recently, whilst taking advantage of my second vaccination jab to look after my mum, and its theme has stayed with me.
Continue reading “Hidden Chapters”If you’re a fan of a certain TV show, or have half an eye on social media, last Friday brought all of us a beautiful and poignant way of capturing loss: “What is grief, if not love, persevering?”
Continue reading “Love, persevering”As I’ve said before, given that ‘love’ is in the title of my website, I’m kinda contractually obliged to write about the subject when the month of February rolls around. And it’s one I’ve written about a lot.
But I confess that it’s been a subject that’s been playing on my mind recently. One I’ve actively wrestled with over the last month.
Continue reading “Love and hurt”I have a bit of a reputation amongst my circle for being someone who knows. Friends reach out to me for advice. Strangers ask me questions. Colleagues trust.
And, for the most part, I have an answer. While my mind feels more bric-a-brac-come-room of hidden things, it’s astonishing the amount of half-helpful stuff my intellect has acquired.
(I’m not being modest about ‘half-helpful’; I generally only remember enough to trigger a lengthy Google-Fu session.)
Continue reading “The power of “I Don’t Know””I’ve been thinking about self-improvement lately, as I often meet folks who want to be a better person – either for themselves or so that their life might work a little better.
Continue reading “Stuck or broken?”Confession: I put myself through the wringer a couple of times last month. I reacted to some stuff with a whole BUNCH of insecure thinking about them, to the point where I didn’t know which way was up any more.
Let The Love In 