Category: Advice

Advice, Blog, Empathy, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #5 – For those who’ve lost hope

So it’s been a week of love – a #LoveWeek, if you will. And I hate to be a Debbie Downer on the last day, but I need to acknowledge the elephant which may or not be residing in the room.

To wit: love isn’t for everyone.

Now don’t get me wrong, it clearly is. Come on. Love makes the world go round.

(OK, at the moment it’s money, which probably explains the shit creek we’re in.)

But when I say love isn’t for everyone, I mean: some of us have given up on love. We’ve lost hope. Continue reading “LoveWeek #5 – For those who’ve lost hope” →

Advice, Blog, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #4 – When the going gets tough…

In an ideal world, of course, relationships would be easy. You’d find someone, fall in love with each other, and POW! – the “happily ever after” of fairytales comes true.

(The clue why they don’t is in the word “fairytales”, FYI…) Continue reading “LoveWeek #4 – When the going gets tough…” →

Advice, Blog, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #3 – You’ve found someone. Now what?

So you see love as a “collaborative work of art”. You’ve been discerning about who to spend your time with and found someone generous and giving, someone with whom you can be your truest self.

You’ve won! Here’s your medal! You can relax now!

Of course, life’s not really like that: nor is love. Continue reading “LoveWeek #3 – You’ve found someone. Now what?” →

Advice, Blog, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #2 -Looking for love

If love and relationships are a “collaborative work of art”, some of us need a partner to create with.

With the acceptance of online dating and the rapid rise of apps, we have more choice than ever. And with that choice comes indecision, disatisfaction and for some of us, overwhelm.

Between the advice to ‘settle’ and “marry him already” and the endless advice on how to “find your soulmate”, how do you choose who to spend your time with? Continue reading “LoveWeek #2 -Looking for love” →

Advice, Blog, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #1 – Need a better way to talk about love? Try this.

Deeply in love? Stoically single? In the second circle of hell known as “it’s complicated”? No matter where your heart lies, the prospect of Valentine’s Day makes even the best of us think about love.

Is it a sport where you learn to hate the game, not the player? Is it a battlefield with walking wounded, losers and victors? The language we use influences how we see the world – and how we respond to it. Continue reading “LoveWeek #1 – Need a better way to talk about love? Try this.” →

Advice, Relationships, Self-compassion

A dirty job

Loving ourselves is a dirty job, which is why so many of us outsource it.

It can feel tough to wholly love and accept ourselves, made as we are of both light and shadow. It can feel vain to own the former and positively uncomfortable to be reminded of the latter. Continue reading “A dirty job” →

Advice, Inner Critic, Self-compassion, Tips

Risky business

Today’s New Year’s Day: a fresh blank page of a year stretches before us, ready for us to write whole new stories.

Stories which, if they’re to be truly new, involve the unknown, take us further than we’ve gone before, involve the risks of both failure and reward. Continue reading “Risky business” →

Advice, Relationships, Self-compassion, Tips

Only the Lonely – for Girl on the Net

I discovered the very NSFW website of Girl on the Net via Twitter a couple of summers’ ago.

It was at the height of women sharing their experiences of sexual harassment and assault on public transport, and her blog post on the subject On Your Power remains a compelling must-read (I shared it with a male acquaintance recently; it both shocked and enlightened him).

The powerfully vulnerable comments beneath a recent guest blog raised the spectre of loneliness, a topic I’ve written about before here and here. I was moved to contact GotN, who kindly published my guest blog last Friday. Continue reading “Only the Lonely – for Girl on the Net” →

Advice, Relationships, Self-compassion

Let it go?

‘Let it go’. If only it was as easy as pulling down a lever.

(No, I’m not talking about that song. Although, I’m pretty sure I’ll be coming back to it before this post is out…)

Bad habit? Bad relationship? Bad thought? Let it go. Painful memory? Hurtful story? Negative belief? Let it go. Continue reading “Let it go?” →