Category: Advice

Advice, Self-compassion

Does it help?

When it comes to therapeutic modalities, I’ll admit: I’m a bit of a magpie.

I spent October attending a collective trauma online summit and another on the clinical application of compassion; I have various books on mindfulness, self-compassion and connection, and am becoming increasingly drawn to Compassion-Focused Therapy.

(Basically, if it helps folks to be kinder to themselves, I’ll wander over and give it a sniff.)

So I was pretty excited to attend Rich Bennett and Joe Oliver’s introduction to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy recently, complete with a copy of their book, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: 100 Key Points and Techniques. Continue reading “Does it help?” →

Advice, Blog, featured, Tips

If you want to go far, go together: Lightbulb to Launch with The Happy Startup School

My inbox is out of control. I mean, WAAY out of control.

(Like everyone else’s, I know.)

I have emails about things I have no interest in, from things I signed up for but have long forgotten, from people who assume that I recognised them by their first name alone.

I occasionally have a cull, chop the number down, have an unsubscribe session. But it often resembles the grass verge on a motorway: full of debris from past travels, unidentified random plants, and weird stuff that wants to take over the general ecosphere.

But sometimes – just sometimes – my benign form of neglect pays dividends and I get an email about an opportunity that I just wouldn’t hear about otherwise.

Continue reading “If you want to go far, go together: Lightbulb to Launch with The Happy Startup School” →

Advice, Self-compassion

HALT! Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?

I came across something by accident recently, and its succinctness has absolutely blown my mind.

It’s the acronym HALT – which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

Hungry: Do I need something physically or emotionally?

Angry: What’s causing me to feel this way?

Lonely: Am I having difficulty connecting with others?

Tired: When was the last time I took a break? Continue reading “HALT! Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?” →

Advice, Self-compassion

What’s your logic based on?

We humans tend to be strange, paradoxical, conflicted creatures.

We say that we want something in our life – be it more money, greater freedom, a wider pool of romantic prospects, a deeper connection, etc. Nothing wrong with any of those, of course; all entirely human and understandable desires.

And yet it’s rare to find someone whose life doesn’t contradict what they say they want. Money evaporates at a certain set-point, limitations are accrued unconsciously, opportunities to meet potential partners spurned, chances for vulnerability body-swerved. Continue reading “What’s your logic based on?” →

Advice, Relationships, Tips

Four Noble Truths of Love

It’s February, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and my website has the word “love” in the title. So I’m *checks, nods* yep, contractually obligated to write about love.

I joke, of course. There’s nothing I enjoy more than thinking and writing about matters of the heart – even if such matters continue to confuse, baffle and vex me. Continue reading “Four Noble Truths of Love” →

Advice, Blog, Empathy, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #5 – For those who’ve lost hope

So it’s been a week of love – a #LoveWeek, if you will. And I hate to be a Debbie Downer on the last day, but I need to acknowledge the elephant which may or not be residing in the room.

To wit: love isn’t for everyone.

Now don’t get me wrong, it clearly is. Come on. Love makes the world go round.

(OK, at the moment it’s money, which probably explains the shit creek we’re in.)

But when I say love isn’t for everyone, I mean: some of us have given up on love. We’ve lost hope. Continue reading “LoveWeek #5 – For those who’ve lost hope” →

Advice, Blog, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #4 – When the going gets tough…

In an ideal world, of course, relationships would be easy. You’d find someone, fall in love with each other, and POW! – the “happily ever after” of fairytales comes true.

(The clue why they don’t is in the word “fairytales”, FYI…) Continue reading “LoveWeek #4 – When the going gets tough…” →

Advice, Blog, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #3 – You’ve found someone. Now what?

So you see love as a “collaborative work of art”. You’ve been discerning about who to spend your time with and found someone generous and giving, someone with whom you can be your truest self.

You’ve won! Here’s your medal! You can relax now!

Of course, life’s not really like that: nor is love. Continue reading “LoveWeek #3 – You’ve found someone. Now what?” →

Advice, Blog, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #2 -Looking for love

If love and relationships are a “collaborative work of art”, some of us need a partner to create with.

With the acceptance of online dating and the rapid rise of apps, we have more choice than ever. And with that choice comes indecision, disatisfaction and for some of us, overwhelm.

Between the advice to ‘settle’ and “marry him already” and the endless advice on how to “find your soulmate”, how do you choose who to spend your time with? Continue reading “LoveWeek #2 -Looking for love” →

Advice, Blog, Relationships, Tips

LoveWeek #1 – Need a better way to talk about love? Try this.

Deeply in love? Stoically single? In the second circle of hell known as “it’s complicated”? No matter where your heart lies, the prospect of Valentine’s Day makes even the best of us think about love.

Is it a sport where you learn to hate the game, not the player? Is it a battlefield with walking wounded, losers and victors? The language we use influences how we see the world – and how we respond to it. Continue reading “LoveWeek #1 – Need a better way to talk about love? Try this.” →