I came across something by accident recently, and its succinctness has absolutely blown my mind.
It’s the acronym HALT – which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
Hungry: Do I need something physically or emotionally?
Angry: What’s causing me to feel this way?
Lonely: Am I having difficulty connecting with others?
Tired: When was the last time I took a break? Continue reading “HALT! Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?”
We humans tend to be strange, paradoxical, conflicted creatures.
We say that we want something in our life – be it more money, greater freedom, a wider pool of romantic prospects, a deeper connection, etc. Nothing wrong with any of those, of course; all entirely human and understandable desires.
And yet it’s rare to find someone whose life doesn’t contradict what they say they want. Money evaporates at a certain set-point, limitations are accrued unconsciously, opportunities to meet potential partners spurned, chances for vulnerability body-swerved. Continue reading “What’s your logic based on?”
It’s February, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and my website has the word “love” in the title. So I’m *checks, nods* yep, contractually obligated to write about love.
I joke, of course. There’s nothing I enjoy more than thinking and writing about matters of the heart – even if such matters continue to confuse, baffle and vex me. Continue reading “Four Noble Truths of Love”
So it’s been a week of love – a #LoveWeek, if you will. And I hate to be a Debbie Downer on the last day, but I need to acknowledge the elephant which may or not be residing in the room.
To wit: love isn’t for everyone.
Now don’t get me wrong, it clearly is. Come on. Love makes the world go round.
(OK, at the moment it’s money, which probably explains the shit creek we’re in.)
But when I say love isn’t for everyone, I mean: some of us have given up on love. We’ve lost hope. Continue reading “LoveWeek #5 – For those who’ve lost hope”
In an ideal world, of course, relationships would be easy. You’d find someone, fall in love with each other, and POW! – the “happily ever after” of fairytales comes true.
(The clue why they don’t is in the word “fairytales”, FYI…) Continue reading “LoveWeek #4 – When the going gets tough…”
So you see love as a “collaborative work of art”. You’ve been discerning about who to spend your time with and found someone generous and giving, someone with whom you can be your truest self.
You’ve won! Here’s your medal! You can relax now!
Of course, life’s not really like that: nor is love. Continue reading “LoveWeek #3 – You’ve found someone. Now what?”
If love and relationships are a “collaborative work of art”, some of us need a partner to create with.
With the acceptance of online dating and the rapid rise of apps, we have more choice than ever. And with that choice comes indecision, disatisfaction and for some of us, overwhelm.
Between the advice to ‘settle’ and “marry him already” and the endless advice on how to “find your soulmate”, how do you choose who to spend your time with? Continue reading “LoveWeek #2 -Looking for love”
Deeply in love? Stoically single? In the second circle of hell known as “it’s complicated”? No matter where your heart lies, the prospect of Valentine’s Day makes even the best of us think about love.
Is it a sport where you learn to hate the game, not the player? Is it a battlefield with walking wounded, losers and victors? The language we use influences how we see the world – and how we respond to it. Continue reading “LoveWeek #1 – Need a better way to talk about love? Try this.”
Loving ourselves is a dirty job, which is why so many of us outsource it.
It can feel tough to wholly love and accept ourselves, made as we are of both light and shadow. It can feel vain to own the former and positively uncomfortable to be reminded of the latter. Continue reading “A dirty job”
Today’s New Year’s Day: a fresh blank page of a year stretches before us, ready for us to write whole new stories.
Stories which, if they’re to be truly new, involve the unknown, take us further than we’ve gone before, involve the risks of both failure and reward. Continue reading “Risky business”
