I discovered the very NSFW website of Girl on the Net via Twitter a couple of summers’ ago.

It was at the height of women sharing their experiences of sexual harassment and assault on public transport, and her blog post on the subject On Your Power remains a compelling must-read (I shared it with a male acquaintance recently; it both shocked and enlightened him).

The powerfully vulnerable comments beneath a recent guest blog raised the spectre of loneliness, a topic I’ve written about before here and here. I was moved to contact GotN, who kindly published my guest blog last Friday.

PLEASE NOTE: My guest post is SFW (bar one f-bomb, as you’ll see below), however images in the side-bar etc of the website you’ll continue reading at are NSFW. Hey, it IS a sex blog, after all, y’all…


When everyone else is ‘at it’; the shame of loneliness in a world of desire

Honestly, you can’t get away from it. There’s a new article about today’s hook-up culture at every turn.

Half the time they’re warning us against it, half the time saying how bloody marvellous it is that women can enjoy ‘zipless fucks’ with the best of them.

Wait, you’re not having sex all the time, in fact several times a day, with different people you’ve only just met? Holy shit, how do you even look at yourself in the mirror? What’s so wrong with you that people are not prostrating themselves at the altar of your bed-stand?

God forbid you’re looking for more than someone who’s back on Tinder right after you have sex. As the author of The New Rules of Sex, Lauren Brim, pointed out in an interview with The Telegraph last year:

“I looked around and saw there were many single people around me, all of them attractive, talented and intelligent people,” she says. “Some of them hadn’t been in a relationship for years.”

There are times when I wonder if it’s more socially acceptable to say “I want to get laid” than it is to say “I’m feeling really lonely”?

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